Author: Paul

Promoting the clothes-free lifestyle.

Who wears the pants in a house full of nudists…

I throw out a daily, naturist related tweet. One of them is:

I wonder who wears the pants in a house full of nudists…

Pants. Trousers. You know.

PANTS? Yes. We all know them. Some people call them trousers. The contraptions with two pipes made of fabric to put around your legs, and that also has a wider tube on top to wrap around your hips and your butt. I think I made this clear enough. If not, click here.

Many people online respond to this tweet. It’s fun and also the goal of that tweet. Engagement, making people tell how they feel about things, that’s the fun and power of Twitter. But this post is not about Twitter. (Are you on Twitter already?)

This post is about pants. If this is a punch in your naturist gut, I apologise and I will understand that you do not want to read on. You’re excused.

An, you are still here. Good. Pants. I’ve worn them since I was small. Many men have, and many women have too.

But…

As many naturists, nudists and other clothes-free minds can attest: pants can be annoying. Very much so. Pants can be tight. Squeeze. Cut off your circulation. Force your genitals into a shape that isn’t pleasant. Studies have shown that tight pants aren’t healthy.

And they can make you look very awkward in the right situation. Or the wrong situation. Please check the image ->

Pants are useful, for sure, but why do they have to be “stylish” in that manner? Why are baggy pants “wrong”? And why are skirts (for men) frowned upon unless you consider kilts in Scotland?

I seriously wonder why men shouldn’t wear skirts when it’s not appropriate to be nude. Skirts give much more space to move. Squatting down in a skirt is much easier than in (tight!) pants. Of course, the feeling of being naked can’t be surpassed, but with the anal retentive way of thinking of the majority, we can forget about that for now.

Nude at home

How do men think about wearing skirts to free your genitals from oppression? (Or is that suppression? The squeeze?) And how do women think about men wearing skirts for that same reason? (Note that I am not considering the prettiness of legs. This is not an issue in Scotland either, as far as I am informed.)

Looking forward to any and all responses. In naked happiness as long as I can.

A naturist with a sun allergy

Does that sound strange?

Well, maybe you have never heard of a sun allergy but it exists. In several forms even. Some people call it sun poisoning, which is pretty to the point.

One form of sun allergy – Polymorphic light eruption.

Note: this is not me. 😉

As I wrote a while ago, I have a condition known as Lupus. In the linked post I wonder if that disease numbers my days as a naturist. After this summer, with plenty of sunny days, I can say yes and no.

Yes, because going out into the sun wouldn’t be smart. My affliction shows itself as a rash on my arms and legs, and it itches like you wouldn’t believe. But there’s more (just as with any month in this year). I’m not going to bore you with all that, but it’s no fun. I really have to watch myself when the sun is out. So yes, being an outside, in the sunshine naturist isn’t happening for me until there is a cure for lupus. (This link takes you to info on the Mayo Clinic website. TLDR: Lupus is an auto-immune disease.) I’m not holding my breath on that one.

But the good news is that not everything happens outside. There is also inside, and the apartment was pretty hot during our heatwave. Guess what I wore.

Naked author

What, an anorak? Are you out of your bloody mind?

NOTHING! If this shocks you, then what are you doing here? LOL!

So that is the good news. As long as the sun shines outside, I can be naked. Inside.

And at night I can go out in the nude. Well, as long as the temperature isn’t trying to kill me, right?

The human form. Or why bathing suits suck.

Last Sunday’s Nudist image was this one:

Nude swim

I think it’s an awesome image. A person swimming in the best way possible.

Yes, you probably saw this already, but I put it here again for a reason.

Bathing suited family at the beach

This is the reason.

Bathing suits. After looking at the image above, it suddenly struck me that bathing suits aren’t just pathetic pieces of fabric that make you feel unpleasant. They also disrupt the image that is the human shape.

The lady in the top picture is complete. Fine. Whole.

There is nothing that interrupts seeing her whole shape. It’s all human. People in bathing suits consist of parts. Look at the young boy on the left. He has a body, then there is this cloth thing and then there are legs. Visually this is entirely wrong. A 2 piece boy. The woman, I assume she’s his mother, even consists of 3 parts. Her shape is broken up twice by the 2-piece bathing suit. For the man the same thing goes as for the boy on the left. I’m quite confident you get my meaning.

Borat Bathing suit

Then there is this monstrosity.

Words actually defy the situation. I know this is Borat and it is meant to make fun of things, but apparently it is or was an actual thing in the not too distant past.

This ‘thing’ makes a 3-part man. It’s awful to behold, although, yes, it’s also funny to watch. (But not for long, because really?)

I have actually gone out onto the big web to see if this is sold. It is.

Go here if you are curious.

Understand that you proceed at your own risk, okay?

Of course the joke isn’t just on men. Somehow women aren’t getting away with this kind of weirdness either.

Bathing suit ducks

Because which sane woman doesn’t want to be seen with blue ducks on her breasts??

Letting it all hang out

That is what naturists do.

Naked Volleyball

And we’re good at it.

No need to pretend we’re prettier than we are, because we bare all, show all. And if ‘stuff’ hangs down, we let it hang the way stuff tends to do.

The past months of mostly working from home have often shown me time and again (as in made me feel) that being clothes-free (not having the body-prison around) is awesome. I knew this. I have known this for a long time. But being aware of that, again, is fantastic, I think.

Cleaning

Getting a job done is great. Doing it without clothes is better. We all know that. Nothing presses against you, nothing ties off the blood flow.

Just because we can let it all hang out.

When I had the idea for this post, I also thought of animals. They don’t do clothes. They let it all hang out as well, and they’re none the worse off for it. For them it’s normal. As it is for us.

I pity the people who are so used to being locked into their fabric prisons that the thought of getting out scares them.

This post started with a joke.

Let me tell you a joke.

A hot day. 2 priests are walking past a river. One priests says, “I would love to take a dip in there to cool down.” The other priest argues they have no bathing suits with them.

Priest 1 says, “That’s no problem. There’s no one around.” Number 2 is convinced, so the two throw off their clothes and jump into the river to cool down. Of course, 5 minutes later a tourist bus drives past.

The priests grab their clothes and run off. When they are safe from the viewers, priest 2 asks, “Why did you put your habit over your head instead of over your you-know-what?”

Priest 1 says, “I don’t know how they recognise you, but with me it’s my face.”

Note: that was the joke. From here things might get more serious, but no guarantee for that.

So why this joke?

Well… with nudists and naturists having to wear masks, I suddenly thought that some people who have never considered naturism, might feel ‘safe’ to give it a try. Because of the mask on their face. Because, as priest 1 said, “I don’t know how they recognise you, but with me it’s my face.“

Having that ‘fence of recognition’ there could give people a sense of safety to try something they would otherwise never try.

Maybe I am entirely wrong, but the idea that arose from the memory of that joke made me think of this.

Perhaps I am the only one, because not everyone knows that joke. Which is a pity. I think it’s a good one. And it might benefit the hopefully former naturists to give our lifestyle a try.

We know it’s worth it.